If you’re anything like me, you can sometimes get stuck in the rut of trying to be everything for everybody, often neglecting, forgetting, or putting aside your own needs and desires for the sake of others. It happens to so many women that I see. They are caring mothers that sure their kiddos are taken care of, devoted daughters caring for their aging parents, or wives struggling to maintain a crumbling relationship with their significant other. These women are so busy trying to fill everyone else’s cup, that they forget to fill their own! But how can we be the best version of ourselves for those around us, when we don’t take the time to pursue it?

The pursuit can be difficult, but it’s oh so worth it! So, what is a pursuit? I can tell you this, a pursuit requires action, and it means to seek or attain a goal over time. When making the space and time to grow and nurture yourself, you open the door to being the best version of yourself–the version that can support her family, friends, coworkers, etc. The pursuit is also meant to prepare. Life is full of unexpected circumstances, and you never know when tragedy will strike. Pursuing your best self prepares you to face those challenges that may come your way with a sense of confidence. With that in mind, I invite you to continue reading and learn some tips that I think will help you in this magical, beautiful, and sometimes difficult pursuit of your best self. I think you’ll be happy with the results.

Tip #1 Keep Your Resume & Skillsets Up to Date

I am an eternal learner. I'm not sure that is a real categorization, but I like the way it sounds. To put it another way, I constantly want to be learning and challenging my mind. Pushing myself to learn and experience things that may seem out of reach or outside my comfort zone. If you're the same way, I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping your resume up to date. Keeping your resume up to date with your current and past jobs, skill sets, and expertise, is a great way to:

1. Visualize your personal achievements

2. Prepare for the unexpected need for a job

Resume Prep

Visualizing your personal achievements is a great confidence booster. It lays your achievements out on paper, plain and simple. If you have been out of the work arena for a while, don’t worry! You still have valuable skills that you can utilize creatively. There are several free resume review sites on the web, so play around with different platforms. Of course, as another option, you can always reach out to your financial planner for help in crafting your skills in a unique way that highlights you in the best way possible.

There is nothing wrong with preparing for the unexpected need for a job. You may be in a happy healthy marriage and your current role is to be a stay-at-home mom or homemaker. However, you never know when life is going to throw a curveball at you. It could be a divorce or the death of your spouse. You just don't know. My motto is to hope and pray for the best but plan for the worst. That way when your world as you know suddenly changes and you find yourself alone, you will be a bit more prepared to handle what lies ahead. It is much easier to navigate through tumultuous times if you have balanced your life all along rather than trying to figure it out during chaos and grief.

Next Steps

Not only should you keep your resume up to date, but I also suggest you keep your skillset sharp. Take some time for yourself. Take a class centered around something you enjoy or something you have always wanted to do. It's ok to take some "me" time. It's ok to be away from your husband, kids, and household responsibilities for some me-time. Trust me, everyone will be better off if you do. If you are anything like me, it will rejuvenate you and make you feel like an individual again. Not someone's wife, mom, or daughter–but you! My experience has been that if you take some me-time your family seems to appreciate and value you more. I was a better mom for sure, even as a single mom, when I took care of myself. Try it because you just might like it.

Although small, making these changes can set you on the path to confidence in yourself and your abilities and be an excellent way to prepare for the unexpected. Life is short and you never know what could happen next. Although this is my first tip in the pursuit of your best self, I hope that you would really lean into these tips and apply them to your life. It truly has the potential to make a difference for you personally and professionally.

Be sure to check back regularly. This is just the beginning of our journey together to becoming your best self!

Pursuing Your Best Self

This tip comes from my book, Unforeseen Exit: When You Find Yourself Facing Divorce & Suddenly Single, where I tell my story of navigating an unforeseen divorce. By openly telling my story, I want to provide guidance and support to women who have found themselves in similar circumstances, so they can pursue their best self personally and financially!